People will always choose to see what they want to see in you. Just like I choose to see the good in people, different situations and circumstances because that’s just who I am as an individual. Even after reading that last post, some niggas are still gonna think negative when they hear or say Never Trust A Big Butt & A Smile. In all actuality I don’t think people really know how it goes. Why is it that a girl with a phat booty and a pretty smile such as myself are considered some sort of root of all evil? Can we really not be trusted? Is it because we really are poison? I got a whole lot of reasons why. But you’re going have to wait for Scene Two to this: Never Trust A Big Butt & A Smile to find all of that out.
Do you ever just sit back and think about what makes you attractive? I do. I always wonder if it is my physical features such as my lips, my eyes, or my figure… or maybe it’s my intellect and that I speak well. In all honesty, I most certainly think that the booty is the main attraction. Additionally, I love my eyes and I’ve fallen so much more in love with my smile since I’ve gotten braces. I’m definitely obsessed with my locs, if I were a sundae they’d definitely serve as the cherry on top, literally lol. Maybe it’s that I’m analytical and have a tendency to get philosophical in my conversations. I think I’m pretty relatable and even when I’m not I just try to seek to understand the things that I don’t. More importantly, I keep a positive vibe. It’s so important and it’s so vital. It’s the way of life: the universe is always responding to me and my thoughts. So I try to keep the good thoughts in my nature. People like that. When you give off positive vibes, you can change a person’s entire demeanor. While all of my physical features create a package, there are two features that can’t be seen. My body might be the award but my heart and mind are truly the prize. It just so happens that the big butt & smile are seen first. All of these things make up my aura. My spirit is warming and while I may seem super intimidating on the outside, I’m totally the opposite on the inside. I ask myself about what makes me attractive because of all of my encounters with the nice guys I’ve met.
We’ve all been in a space where we’ve met someone and they seem to have fallen for us pretty fast. It’s a semi uncomfortable feeling because you don’t want to hurt this person’s feelings should you not feel the same way about them. You continuously ask yourself, “what did I do to make them like me this much?”. At least that’s what I’ve done. While the honeymoon phase seems so blissful, this person has somehow convinced themselves that they can see a future with you in just a short times notice. They’ve figured out what you like so they go out of their way to gift you with these things. Do it without him or her asking they say. Next thing you know you got money sitting in your cash app to get gas or lunch. They’ve grown accustomed to talking with you everyday so now it’s become routine to talk with them everyday. How did the routine start? Everybody has experienced this at some point whether you are a male or a female. It doesn’t mean anything bad by you to feel this way, it just seems to happen. People like what they like. People are attracted to what they’re attracted to. People go hard for what they want. Some take the aggressive approach and then some are more laid back about how they move. There always seems to be an exchange of energies before any physical intimacy is shared. I’ve literally had niggas at my feet with no serious effort involved on my end. It was never any game, it was nature whether the person was actually interested in getting to know me or not.
Never Trust A Big Butt & A Smile because I snatch souls with no sex involved. I don’t say this out of arrogance, I say it because it’s true. It’s happened to me, has it happened to you? I honestly feel like most, if not all of the nice guys I’ve met, had it made up in their mind that they liked me before actually getting to know me. We would have a couple slight conversations and the guy is usually surprised at the things I’m talking about. In scene 1 of NTABB&AS, it was said that a girl with a big butt and a smile has the power to hypnotize a nigga just from her looks. Since we’re keepin it real, raw & uncut, when a guy is intimidated by me, it kinda does seem like it makes him pretty open in the sense of me getting whatever I want. While I always wanted to believe that that was some type of myth, it may actually be true. It’s almost the same as a guy telling a female everything she wants to hear, if she really likes him a lot, she’d be willing to do whatever for him. In my case, I guess the guys just don’t be knowing how to approach me so they choose to overcompensate. I wouldn’t quite refer to this as any form of hypnosis though. I damn sure don’t practice any voodoo witch craft type of shit but I’ve witnessed it happen from my own experiences. Point is, it’s always up to the individual as to whether he or she are willing to use their power for bad or for good.
Most of the guys that I’ve had these kinds of encounters with have known of me for years. They for some reason could never work up the courage to actually have a conversation with me. Or maybe they got lost in the pool of my unread Facebook messages. In any case though, they waited until they felt it was the right time to finally shoot their shot.
And they did.
It’s strange. You sit across the table from this person wondering how in the fuck are they so excited to be with you for the first time. You admire the fact they admire you but still the question lingers, “What have you done for them to like you so much?”.
That was how I felt shortly after I met this nice guy off the gram. He randomly just popped up in my dms one day and because he was fine as shit I responded lol. The thing about the gram though is that people only show you what they want you to see. But after scoping his page he didn’t seem like the faking type. His name was Ty Dolla $ign. Not in the literal. His name will be Ty Dolla $ign because Ty Dolla $ign was the first thing that came to mind. I gave him my number because of what he said no the message. And not to mention yet again that he was handsome lol. He got right to the point in saying he wanted a shot and to see where it went. It was so straightforward and I was so happy with that. I gave it a day or two for no real reason. He was cool as shit though. Ty Dolla $ign had his own place, had a car, a cool job and he looked nice in his work attire. He also always kept a fresh cut too. I loved that he dressed nice and that he cared about his appearance. Nice as in he could put some fits together whether he had on a graphic shirt or a jersey. He looked sweet. Ty Dolla $ign and I went out a lot. I remember our first date was a very chill impromptu spot and we met up on my lunch break. I won’t say where we went, just know that we had pizza. I felt like we both were nervous meeting up for the first time. That first meet up was well worth it though. Ty Dolla $ign was a gentleman and he smelled very good.
I had never met Ty Dolla $ign before meeting him for lunch. But he knew of me from being a Party Girl. He had been watching me from afar for a while and I guess was just waiting for the right moment. I didn’t think this was creepy, just wild that someone needed a right time to talk to me. Plus, I didn’t have any full body pictures on my page so unless he had seen me around recently, it was safe to say that he wasn’t just goin smack at me because my butt was big. Anyways, I felt that Ty Dolla $ign had come around at a good time because I was open to dating. I had trained my mind to be open to being treated well and to believe that there were guys out there who actually able to treat me well. And he did. One of the best things about Ty Dolla $ign was that I could tell that though he never said it, he allowed things to move at my pace. No pressure. How did I know? I put him up to several tests.
If you’ve been following this blog you’d know that I consistently talk about men and how I feel in reference to discipline. Well after our pizza date, Ty Dolla $ign and I texted a lot. I remember visiting him off the late late night one day randomly. I think I had taken a nap earlier in the day and decided to go and keep him company. I guess you can call it a Netflix and chill kinda thing expect I wasn’t givin up no kitty. Ty Dolla $ign might not have known that because we were very early in the getting to know each other stage. It was late though during booty call hours. I had on some light colored stretch pants from fashion nova and a white oversized vneck, nothin fancy. When I got to Ty Dolla $ign house I was nervous out of not knowing what to expect. Was it too soon to be there this time of night? How would his house smell? I hope I be good over here by myself. These were all the things I was thinking on my drive to his house.
I was there to keep him company but I also wanted to see how he lived. Ain’t no way he was this fine and lived in a junky or dirty house. But the house was tidy and well put together. Nothing appeared out of place and there weren’t any odors. We went to his room where we sat up and listened to some music. Now I love music and it just so happened that he liked Lil Wayne as much as I did. It was a vibe. He lit a jay and I was just chillen. I made sure there was enough distance between the two of us though in case he got frisky. You know how they say girls are when they go over a dude house for the first time, that was me. I was literally on the edge of the bed at first lol. I got more comfortable tho and just put my back against the wall and put my feet up, it was real cool. Ty Dolla $ign never once touched or or attempted to touch me. He stayed to himself and when I was ready to go, he kindly walked me to my car. He did well with passing the first test because of his discipline.That earned him more of my time.
We spent more time together going out for lunch during the week and we began talking on the phone more. I can get a lil philosophical with my conversations though so I always felt like I did most of the talking. He didn’t mind it though. At least I never thought. Ty Dolla $ign even began surprising me by getting flowers sent to my job. And once he discovered my love for cookies he’d randomly just get me some of my favorite flavor. I felt super spoiled lol. Y’all know I LOVE flowers. I also felt special because I had no idea who the flowers would come from. I wasn’t seeing anybody else at the time but I didn’t think that he liked me that much to do those things. I loved the thoughtfulness.
Ty Dolla $ign and I continued dating for about 6 or 7 months. He got me a gift on Christmas and even on Valentines Day. We spent so much time together going on different dates and it felt good to date with no limitations. What I mean by this is that a lot of times is females date with the sole intent of figuring a person out before we can be open. We have to see if their intentions are good or if their genuine. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in that that we forget to just enjoy the moment and have fun. And Ty Dolla $ign showed me that he was in fact mature enough for a woman like me. He complimented me well, we laughed a lot together and he also loved to eat lol. Seems like a perfect match right?
I know that Ty Dolla $ign stayed on his best behavior with hopes that I’d eventually be the first to make a move. This was my only worry about us moving at my pace. I move pretty slow and that’s because I’m just never in a rush. And for that Ty Dolla $ign had been subconsciously waiting for anything beyond a kiss on the cheek. How much longer would he have to wait? How many times did we have to be alone for him to attempt a feel? He had waited much longer than I expected, would it have been disrespectful of him to cop a feel after being so patient? What exactly did he have to do to get the kitty? That subject never came up so we never discussed it. I never truly knew if it was an issue or if it even mattered. I didn’t want to assume but the nigga in me knew that it was a thought whether Ty Dolla $ign showed or not. It didn’t have to be spoken on but I knew that he’d want it eventually. It was MY world though and Ty Dolla $ign showed me that. He displayed his ability to be patient and let me call the shots.
For some reason though something just wasn’t right. Though I liked Ty Dolla I noticed that there was something missing from our time together. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what I wasn’t getting from him. Ty Dolla $ign was so willing to cater to me but I didn’t know what it was or what was wrong. I often battled myself because he did all the things that a girl would want a guy to do. I’d ask myself if I was being ungrateful or if this is the good thing I’d miss if it were gone. This thing that was missing was like literally haunting me. I remember when I got to the point of cutting Ty Dolla $ign back because I getting like bored in the conversations I guess. In all honestly Ty Dolla $ign did everything right just like a few other guys I passed up. I enjoyed every moment with him. I appreciated the flowers, the gifts, the cookies and his kind words of motivation when I needed them. When we parted ways, it was of fault of mine. I thought that maybe I was the problem because I couldn’t figure out the missing piece to the puzzle. Maybe I was just trying to fill a void, maybe I just liked the attention or maybe was I just bored.
I’ve met some really great guys proving that good men are not hard to find. After spending some time alone I realized that my feeling of something missing in Ty Dolla $ign was due to a lack of mental stimulation. That wasn’t a bad thing but it was something that o needed it. I need substance. We talked all the time but I wanted to converse. A person like me loves to engage in interesting dialogue. It’s amazing where the mind can take you when you and a person are actually having a great conversation. Those are those kinds of conversations you get lost in. That’s the kind of talk that you lose track of time because the discussion is so deep. I want to talk about other things besides how each other’s days were. Simply put, I just love the exchange of ideas and opinions because you never know what you can learn from or about something and/or someone. And I honestly being taught some shit. It made it difficult to even want to make a move on him because I didn’t feel a connection mentally. I didn’t think it was fair to string him along when the connection felt incomplete. After trying to casually date with a few other nice guys I realized that they all seemed to lack this quality and to me this is an important one to have. Again, I loved the dates, the flowers and the fact that these guys were considerate and thoughtful.
I’ve said all of this to say this: all of the nice guys that were super into me were willing to do whatever to make me happy. Even if it meant sacrificing their own happiness. And I know that’s what a good partner does. I could never put my finger on what made them like me as much as they did. I always wished that they had spent a little more time taking their time with getting to know me or that they were comfortable in being themselves. Because just maybe would I be able to explore their mind and allow them to throughly explore mine. Some would say 7 months is a long time but when you’re in no rush for anything, 7 months ain’t shit.
I cut Ty Dolla $ign back because I wanted to use my power for good. I had no reason to keep allowing him to take me out and do all of these nice things for me when I was unable to give him 100%. He deserved that. I could’ve used and abused what I had but that was something he didn’t deserve. Ty never knew I felt that way though. I made my decision because I knew he was moving at my pace. Truthfully though, he wouldn’t have never found the right time to make that move because that vibe just wasn’t there. It wasn’t naturally coming from me. I also didn’t want to try to force anything on him. Who knows, maybe mentally he wasn’t receiving things that he needed from me and that was the cause of what I felt. Either way, I felt that it was best to part ways. Someone who was as equally as interested in him could’ve been occupying the time that I had been occupying.
I made sure to be very careful with the souls I have snatched. These experiences reassured me that my time alone was more valuable then my time with someone who was unable to fulfill me mentally and spiritually. And that’s not on purpose. I needed something deeper than the material things and the dates that came with these guys. Everybody has something they need from a partner; when they lack whatever it is, it’s kinda like a deal breaker. And when don’t actually know what their deal breakers are beyond the surface, they’ll pour into whatever feels good even if it feels temporary. It’s just something this person is missing and you truly can’t go without it. If that person that’s really into you doesn’t have it then what do you do? We’ve all gotten to this point and realized we had to make the right decision. Whether you’ve used the power for bad or for good, you made the decision to cut the person back. I just wanted to avoid taking Ty Dolla $ign’s kindness for granted. This meant discontinued occasions of spending money on outings and wasting his time when I knew there was no chance of him being anything more than what he was. Brunch for New Years was one of the last times Ty Dolla $ign asked me out. I knew he was looking forward to going but I didn’t go. I just didn’t want to give off the wrong impression. If I had to relate it to something it would one of the last episodes of Power in one of the previous seasons. Kanan has been mad at Ghost for a long time because Ghost set him up to go to jail. But like Ghost said to Kanan, he either had to put him in jail or kill him. Ghost chose to put K in jail. Because whether or not K would be happy with Ghost’s decision, he was sparing him the worst consequence. With his back against the wall, Ghost still tried to look out for him. You get it?
Yes, I could have just kept the party going in seeing Ty Dolla $ign but I didn’t. It was no point. I just wanted to use my power for good and set him free to be available for the girl that was right for him. His thoughtfulness was beneficial but I didn’t need that. I could have had my way if I wanted but it just would not have been right. Saying that to say that I’m not evil lol. I’m no devil and I actually have feelings. I haven’t always spared the guy who I wasn’t all the way into so I won’t say that I’m one hundred percent innocent. But I do spare the nice ones. Because I would want the same thing if the roles were reversed. To them the chemistry might be a real vibe because I try not to make things awkward but I’m a people person in general. I’m never fake about getting to know someone, I just take my time.
Shit I can remember a time when the roles were reversed and I was Ty Dolla $ign in this situation. There was a guy who I remember I was soooo head over heels for that I couldn’t see anything past him. I could honestly admit that I once had had my soul snatched and the guy didn’t quite do so well with using his power for good. This was before I got hip to the exchange in power though. Maybe I had fallen for his game or maybe it was just a case of puppy love. I could take the time out now to go into more detail about it but then I’d be rapping y’all up way more than y’all expected. So you know what that means, I’ll just save that tea for the next Never Trust A Big Butt & A Smile situation. 😏🌹